Better the poor whose walk is blameless
    than a fool whose lips are perverse.

² Desire without knowledge is not good—
    how much more will hasty feet miss the way!

³ A person’s own folly leads to their ruin,
    yet their heart rages against the Lord.

⁴ Wealth attracts many friends,
    but even the closest friend of the poor person deserts them.

⁵ A false witness will not go unpunished,
    and whoever pours out lies will not go free.

⁶ Many curry favor with a ruler,
    and everyone is the friend of one who gives gifts.

⁷ The poor are shunned by all their relatives—
    how much more do their friends avoid them!
Though the poor pursue them with pleading,
    they are nowhere to be found.^[a]

⁸ The one who gets wisdom loves life;
    the one who cherishes understanding will soon prosper.

⁹ A false witness will not go unpunished,
    and whoever pours out lies will perish.

Fools, Friends, and False Witnesses

People live their lives with no thought of God and then shout, “How could God do this to me?” when things turn bad.  I think of my Dad’s cancer as something many people would rail against.  “How dare God allow a 55-year-old to contract terminal cancer?”  However, that implies that my father made no choices for which he was responsible.  My father fought a lot, chose to play rugby, ate chips by the pile, smoked and drank for a while.  He made poor choices, but when he died early he did not blame God, he found God in the pain and suffering.  I wonder at the entitlement who think of God as a sugar-daddy who can be ignored  throughout their lives, but who want him to sort out their problems and save them from the consequences of their own life choices. 

The End of the Affair, the book not the movie, is worth reading.  It is a deeply theological work.  The heroine ends an affair because she makes a deal with a God she doesn’t think exists.  When God comes through, she hates the God she doesn’t believe in.  In the end she realises that the object of her scorn and hatred is real and she submits to God.  It is worth seeing the strength of emotion some people have against God.  Often they work in such a focused way against God that it brings about a faith in the God they hate so much.  If only our lives were submitted to the mysterious and holy God whose ways are inscrutable.

Questions

1. How are folly and perversity related?
2. How is a ruined life (NIV Translation) an overturned way (Literal Translation)?
3. Why would people in the ancient world desert poor people?
4. How do some people that you know blame God for their misfortune?
5. How can we accurately see what is our doing and what is God’s?

Going Deeper

Read Graham Green’s The End of The Affair.

From the fruit of their mouth a person’s stomach is filled;
    with the harvest of their lips they are satisfied.

²¹ The tongue has the power of life and death,
    and those who love it will eat its fruit.

²² He who finds a wife finds what is good
    and receives favor from the Lord.

²³ The poor plead for mercy,
    but the rich answer harshly.

²⁴ One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin,
    but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Rewards for Speech

Friendship and marriage are enhanced by affirming words.  Of course, touch, gifts, quality time and acts of service also factor, but the emphasis in this passage is on speech.  You get direct results from the kind of speech that you use.  If you create a safe place and respond lovingly to unlovely acts, you will get a safer and warmer relationship in response.  If you respond with throwing as much hurt and bad history at the other person you will likely ruin the relationship over time.  If we love to work with our words and to avoid being thoughtless and rash, the fruit of our efforts will be sweet.

If you are isolated and alone, odds are that you have not opened up and been vulnerable.  In protecting yourself you can become a rock or an island.  It is not a way to find a soul mate.  It is not a way to create a friendship that is intimate and special.  If you find someone that you can share your deepest thoughts with, that trust might be returned.  You may find the kind of friend that people find seldom in a lifetime.

Questions

1. What is the fruit of well chosen words?
2. What does a spouse bring?
3. What is the difference between companionship and friendship according to this passage?
4. How does this passage warn against superficial friendships with flighty people?
5. How do you cultivate a descriptive and powerful vocabulary?

To answer before listening—
    that is folly and shame.

¹⁴ The human spirit can endure in sickness,
    but a crushed spirit who can bear?

¹⁵ The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge,
    for the ears of the wise seek it out.

¹⁶ A gift opens the way
    and ushers the giver into the presence of the great.

¹⁷ In a lawsuit the first to speak seems right,
    until someone comes forward and cross-examines.

¹⁸ Casting the lot settles disputes
    and keeps strong opponents apart.

¹⁹ A brother wronged is more unyielding than a fortified city;
    disputes are like the barred gates of a citadel.

Advice For Disputes

Foolish people in a dispute aren’t listening.  They try to be heard rather than to hear.  I have heard people walking through the streets at night yelling at each other their point of view.  In the noise, it is obvious neither of them is actually listening.  When we crush someone’s spirit and ‘win’ the argument, we have often destroyed the relationship.  How can a crushed spirit be a support?  We use the phrase ‘a crushing argument’ as if it were positive.  However, to crush a person is not a winning tactic biblically. 

Bribery in disputes is unethical.  It is manipulative.  However, if good relations exist to the point where a gift can be freely given, it can soften the dispute.  Think of a repentant spouse who brings home chocolates or flowers, for example. 

Even though our side of a dispute may seem watertight, we should pay careful attention to what others have to say.  It may be that there are two ways to solve a problem.  It may be that your argument makes sense because you are missing a key piece of information.  Listen to the details the other person brings to the table.  repeat them to the other person to make sure that you have heard them correctly.

Argumentative people find that they do not get their way easily.  People want to resist someone who seems combative.  Even if you are able to leave arguments behind, it is very common to find that those who you have had disputes with build up a caricature of you in their mind.  Now everything that you do will reinforce that caricature.

Questions

1. What is a positive stance to take in disputes?
2. What are negative results from disputes?
3. What kind of disputes would someone in ancient Israel have to settle?
4. With whom do you have disputes?
5. Think of a particular person who you have to reason with.  Think of an idea that you might share with them.  What is their stance?  Is it possible that you have built up a caricature by not listening and exaggerating their flaws?

 

 

One who is slack in his work
    is brother to one who destroys.

¹⁰ The name of the Lord is a fortified tower;
    the righteous run to it and are safe.

¹¹ The wealth of the rich is their fortified city;
    they imagine it a wall too high to scale.

¹² Before a downfall the heart is haughty,
    but humility comes before honor.

Safety

People want to be safe, but there is only one place that is eternally possible.  In our myopic scope of daily chores, it is easy to see that safety and security may feel like they come and go.  Christians are killed regularly in Sudan and Christians in America feel increasingly unwelcome in the public forum.  However, whether we are talking emotionally or physically, the spiritual reality is that we are safe in God’s hands when we put our faith in him.  He may choose to let us come home to heaven, but he will give us the strength to make that transition.  We are never isolated and alone.  We are alwayss fully accepted as we are.  He is in control.

Questions

1. What can destroy?
2. What comes before a downfall?
3. What is a fortress for God’s people?
4. In what ways do people seek security that will ultimately lead to ruin?
5. How can desire to control ourselves and others actually lead to ruin?

An unfriendly person pursues selfish ends
    and against all sound judgment starts quarrels.

² Fools find no pleasure in understanding
    but delight in airing their own opinions.

³ When wickedness comes, so does contempt,
    and with shame comes reproach.

⁴ The words of the mouth are deep waters,
    but the fountain of wisdom is a rushing stream.

⁵ It is not good to be partial to the wicked
    and so deprive the innocent of justice.

⁶ The lips of fools bring them strife,
    and their mouths invite a beating.

⁷ The mouths of fools are their undoing,
    and their lips are a snareto their very lives.

⁸ The words of a gossip are like choice morsels;
    they go down to the inmost parts.

Deep

My father prided himself in being shallow.  He would say some profound things, but often he would just retreat into shallow sarcasm or silence.  My soul was parched.  I wanted my father to talk to me about existential questions of life and death.  I wanted him to connect with me on a deep level.  He was resolutely shallow in his communication, but it covered over deep issues of insecurity, self-doubt, and disorientation. 

To follow God clears a way to deep pools of living water.  There is a depth that is not dull.  God is interested in the day-to-day world but he shows us the connection of each moment to the cosmos.  Jesus is with us and Jesus is the Word through whom the universe was created.  Jesus shows us how God is with us and transecnds us at all times.  We live in a physical world of busyness and materialism, but our speech should reflect insight that there are ultimate questions of meaning to be asked.  The answers are all found in God.

Questions

1. What is satisfying about deep speech?
2. Where does shallow speech take us?
3. How deeply does gossip satisfy?
4. What does the modern love of gossip show about the depths of the modern heart?
5. How do we have conversations with God that are truly satisfying?

One who has no sense shakes hands in pledge
    and puts up security for a neighbor.

¹⁹ Whoever loves a quarrel loves sin;
    whoever builds a high gate invites destruction.

²⁰ One whose heart is corrupt does not prosper;
    one whose tongue is perverse falls into trouble.

²¹ To have a fool for a child brings grief;
    there is no joy for the parent of a godless fool.

²² A cheerful heart is good medicine,
    but a crushedspirit dries up the bones.

²³ The wicked accept bribes in secret
    to pervert the course of justice.

²⁴ A discerning person keeps wisdom in view,
    but a fool’s eyeswander to the ends of the earth.

²⁵ A foolish son brings grief to his father
    and bitterness to the mother who bore him.

²⁶ If imposing a fine on the innocent is not good,
    surely to flog honest officials is not right.

²⁷ The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint,
    and whoever has understanding is even-tempered.

²⁸ Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent,
    and discerning if they hold their tongues

Restraint

Last night I was glad that my children did not come to my soccer game.  During the game the players were yelling obsceneties at each other.  One player, who has headbutted members of our team before, headbutted someone while the ref wasn’t looking.  Another player from the other team shouted obsceneties about one of our player’s mother.  The game ended when one of our players broke free in injury time and scored a fantastic winner.

That’s when one of The Assyrian Stars (the opposing team) came over to our bench and kicked our best player between the legs.  He responded with a headshot that caused the Assyrian’s mouth to bleed.  In no time seven Assyrians had surrounded our player and were kicking him on the ground.  One even jumped on him and bit him hard on the back.  The police arrived and the instigator was separated from our players and the Assyrian Stars and our team stopped brawling.

I looked at the instigator, blood dripping from his mouth.  I looked at the man next to him cussing the police with no respect.  He had a cross around his neck.  However, he lacked the understanding that comes from God.  He had shown no restraint.  I was deeply grieved when I saw his cross and knew it meant nothing to him.

Questions

1. What do the wicked pervert?
2. How does a wise person use words?
3. Why is it better to hold your tongue in intense situations rather than vent?
4. Why do sporting situations frequently lead to intense language and sometimes brawls?
5. What could be done to develop good sportspeople whose language is pure?

¹⁷ A friend loves at all times,
    and a brother is born for a time of adversity.

Friends Love

Friends don’t always agree.  Friends don’t always do what the other wants.  Friends are sometimes miles away – even across the oceans.  However, the one constant is that a friend loves.  This is not an emotion.  We do not need to maintain a false emotional high.  Of course, a friend will often feel wonderful and enraptured in the company of a friend, but in need not always be that way.

I sometimes find people who say that they have no friends.  In fact I might say this is increasingly common.  As we are encouraged to keep busy and perform tasks to satisfy our cravings for recognition, worth, and pleasure, we find it harder to maintain relationships.  The best way to obtain meaningful friendships is to be a friend.  It means that we approach people that God has laid on our heart and we reach out to them:  We offer to do chores that they don’t have time for;  We take interest in their interests;  We share experiences;  We take initiative in seeking the other out and listening. 

A successful marriage is rooted in sound friendship.  Lust and self-serving dating can skip the step of becoming friends.  However, if a couple skillfully develop a friendship in courtship, their marriage will be all the stronger. 

If we are ‘stuck’ with someone unlike us in a dorm situation, or in a church situation, we can be a friend to them and stop moaning about how unlike us they are.  Friends love. 

Siblings should be the closest of friends.  Cain and Able let us know that sin is in the heart of the family.  However, when things around the family go wrong often healthy families will form stronger bonds.  It should be like this in friendship.  If someone is struggling, we should take the initiative to reach out.  When Kelli and I got back from China with our new daughter recently, our friends in our small group, Carrie and Jonna, offered to do something for us.  We didn’t take them up on it, but the offer itself was profoundly uplifting.  I hope that my wife and I can be the same for others.  If you have our number and something is troubling you, give one of us a call.  Send us an e-mail.  We can be family to each other in times of adversity if we know that adversity is going on. 

Questions

1. What do friends do?
2. How are friends like family?
3. How do you think Jewish friendships in ancient times were both similar and different from our friendships?
4. Who are your closest friends?  How do you love each other?
5. Who do you find it difficult to befriend but realise God might want you to love?  How does knowing God make the difference?

 

Fine speech is not becoming to a fool;
    still less is false speech to a prince.
⁸  A bribe is like a magic stone in the eyes of the one who gives it;
    wherever he turns he prospers.
⁹ Whoever covers an offense seeks love,
    but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.
¹⁰ A rebuke goes deeper into a man of understanding
    than a hundred blows into a fool.
¹¹ An evil man seeks only rebellion,
    and a cruel messenger will be sent against him.
¹² Let a man meet a she-bear robbed of her cubs
     rather than a fool in his folly.
¹³ If anyone returns evil for good,
     evil will not depart from his house.
¹⁴ The beginning of strife is like letting out water,
    so quit before the quarrel breaks out.
¹⁵ He who justifies the wicked and he who condemns the righteous
    are both alike an abomination to the Lord.
¹⁶ Why should a fool have money in his hand to buy wisdom
    when he has no sense?

Consequences

The consequences of foolishness are deep.  The foolishness of our movies, our politics, and our churches might seem like so much good fun, but it will all end in ruin.  If we stand like prophets in Jerusalem and warn the culture, who will listen?  Aren’t we just killjoys, naysayers, and bigots?  Haven’t we just pumped ourselves up with self-righteousness and this arrogant notion that we know the truth? 

We are the prophets called by God to speak an eternal and ancient truth revealed in him.  Wisdom is the way the world should be.  There is no existential road trip needed to explore the complexities of our own navels.  The complexities of the universe have been revealed by one complex enough to be its primary cause.  The design of the earth has been revealed by the designer.  We laugh, we sleep around, we drink, we see no further than the end of our noses.  The insanity of Freudian psychology is evidenced by the isolation and lack of intimacy.  Rather than count what has been lost, we recast the home and church as a stifling and harsh environment.  Having burned our bridges to a life of hearth and home, we wander the world looking for solace.  We look for ourselves, and rather than accept ourselves with our depravity and sin – we embrace depravity and sin themselves.  Pastors think it is edgy to add a little sin in the mix; Christian teens want to be like Twilight’s Edward and cultivate a little dark side;  We are intoxicated with ruining Eden.  We sail headlong into the seas of Chaos experiencing the ride.  Screaming in the storm, “I am alive!”  When the good ship Folly arrives at its destination we don’t find the verdant vallies of self-actualization – we find the gnarled bones in the wasteland of Abaddon and Sheol.

Questions

1. Who covers an offence?
2. Who seeks rebellion?
3. What will the fool get when he tries to purchase an education?
4. What is the ideal person who is a product of public education?
5. How does Proverbs help us create prophets who will speak truth to a world that rejects the possibility of knowing truth?

Going Deeper

http://www.reclaimingthemind.org/blog/2010/01/the-scandal-of-the-evangelical-mind-sixteen-years-later/

Better a dry crust with peace and quiet
    than a house full of feasting, with strife.

² A prudent servant will rule over a disgraceful son
    and will share the inheritance as one of the family.

³ The crucible for silver and the furnace for gold,
    but the Lord tests the heart.

⁴ A wicked person listens to deceitful lips;
    a liar pays attention to a destructive tongue.

⁵ Whoever mocks the poor shows contempt for their Maker;
    whoever gloats over disasterwill not go unpunished.

⁶ Children’s children are a crown to the aged,
    and parents are the pride of their children.

Crucibles

God allows us to be in situations that push us for a reason.  The situations that try us the most potentially give us the chance to show our character more completely.  God, I believe has designed marriage for this purpose.  The home should be a crucible where the value and worth of each individual is shown through trials and self-sacrifice.  When we get married we often focus on what we have in common.  We see what is the same, but we focus less on what is different.  The differences themselves often seem endearing.   Add the pressure of children, pressure on finances, pressure from in-laws and the marriage seems a little different.  Some say the love dies at this point, but it is the narcissistic infatuation that ends.  At this point the road is clear to selflessly love someone who has always been different from us.  This does not mean that we pressure others into change for their own good.  It means that we see how God is testing us and come to God to be changed to make us more unconditional in our love.

Question

1. What does the house with peace and quiet lack?
2. What does God test like a crucible tests gold and silver?
3. How should a family view each other?
4. What do the people that you work with think they need in their house to be happy?
5. Why do we keep moving and consuming things we don’t need rather than stopping and learning to be grateful?

There is a way that appears to be right,^(AM)
    but in the end it leads to death.^(AN)

²⁶ The appetite of laborers works for them;
    their hunger drives them on.

²⁷ A scoundrel^(AO) plots evil,
    and on their lips it is like a scorching fire.^(AP)

²⁸ A perverse person stirs up conflict,^(AQ)
    and a gossip separates close friends.^(AR)

²⁹ A violent person entices their neighbor
    and leads them down a path that is not good.^(AS)

³⁰ Whoever winks^(AT) with their eye is plotting perversity;
    whoever purses their lips is bent on evil.

³¹ Gray hair is a crown of splendor;^(AU)
    it is attained in the way of righteousness.

³² Better a patient person than a warrior,
    one with self-control than one who takes a city.

³³ The lot is cast^(AV) into the lap,
    but its every decision^(AW) is from the Lord.

Brain Over Brawn

In Julia Donaldson’s book, the Gruffalo, a powerful theme is revisited.  The idea is that a small mouse can outwit the powerful Gruffalo and other predators who wish to eat him.  Proverbs reinforces this idea.  Of course, physical fitness is a benefit and shows good stewardship of what God has given.  However, if there is a choice between brawn and brains Proverbs chooses brains.  The FBI reads body language to be able to tell what powerful enemies are thnking and then can use that against them.  Many times in history a mighty army has been stalled by superior strategy on the part of an inferior force. 

Questions

1. What does this passage say about intelligence compared to a warrior’s skill?
2. How did people in the Bible use strategy to defeat overwhelming odds?
3. To whom does God reveal superior strategy?
4. In the lives of regular people in the West when do they fight when they could think?
5. How does taking time to consult God rule out chance in conflict?